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| Never mind that Rihanna's sprouting brown roots give the illusion that she's wearing a particularly dainty yarmulke, or that she's styling a denim-on-denim Texas tuxedo (set off with a denim bustier). Please direct your attention downward. See that? No, you're not having a nightmarish flashback to that Caribbean cruise you took with your grandparents in 1989. RiRi really is wearing a fanny pack. And despite being emblazoned with coolly ironic gold dollar signs, it remains, at heart, a fanny pack, an accessory guaranteed to increase your waistline while simultaneously decreasing your style cred. |
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| The third time Heidi Klum was asked if she was a fugitive from a fashionable chain gang, she started to rethink the wisdom of her "jailhouse frock" challenge on "Project Runway." |
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| There's a reason why satin is only one letter away from Satan: Both are evil, unforgiving and bound to make you suffer in unholy ways. Behold a cloven-footed, Santa-cheeked Katie Holmes, who clomps out of a breakfast meeting in New York (we fervently pray it wasn't about her fashion line) wearing Indiana Jones' fedora, Mr. Rogers' cardigan and a shiny orange traffic cone that a presumably contrite Tom Cruise placed around the wreckage of her once-promising career. Alas, crotch-clutching fabric wasn't Katie's only misstep. |
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| Our assessment of Kate Bosworth's ensemble went something like this: What fab sunglasses! Oh, pretty necklaces. And who makes that cute sweater? ... [silence] ... [mouth opening, closing, opening again] ... [more silence] ... What's happening? What's going on here? Why is she wearing sheer, minty-green pleated drapes? And dear Lord, clunky Velcro sneakers that retail for an unconscionable $760? Those are even sillier than Kate Bosworth still being a viable paparazzi target. |
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| Coming to Lifetime TV this fall: "When Flowbees Attack: The Chloe Sevigny Story, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying About My Haircut and Love Blending Into the Background." |
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| Members of the South Korean navy gave Brooklyn Decker an enthusiastic welcome as she hit the "Battleship" red carpet in Seoul styling a backless, diaphanous lace dress. So excited were the sailors to see a real live Sports Illustrated swimsuit model that they didn't even notice her gargantuan, booty-disfiguring granny panties. Someone who did notice: Lisa Rinna,who's now worried that Brooklyn may be trying to muscle in on her new Depends gig |
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| Things have been going swimmingly for Claire Danes: She's racked up awards galore, scored a hit with "Homeland" and, much like her former "My So-Called Life" co-star, Jared Leto, has barely aged at all since the show debuted in 1994. Clearly, she was overdue for a stumble, and she flops in spectacular fashion, courtesy of this aggressively frumpy and chaotic Franken-frockthat both stupefies and stumpifies. |
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| Raven-Symone's attempt to carry off tough-girl rocker chic is undermined by her "oh crap" expression, which plainly says, "Why on earth did I lean directly over that paper shredder"? |
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| For the eight of you who were wondering what Ashanti is up to these days, here you go. Does this clear things up? Didn't think so. But judging from her Red Bull-dipped hair, earmuffed mammaries, mesh-encased torso, gold lamé panties and octogenarian-approved slippers, we're pretty sure she's landed the lead role in "Cher: The Shady Pines Years." |
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| A swirly-boobed, candy-fied and fuzzy-footed Nicki Minaj answers the one question "Star Wars" fans never thought to ask: "What does Chewbacca see when he's tripping his Wookiee off?" |
